i got an iPhone last year for the same reason i got a Mac Plus in 1986 - i'd been making a living writing business apps in COBOL, but i picked up this underpowered, overpriced, mostly useless, bauhaus looking, little glass-and-plastic computer because it had an interface device unlike anything i'd seen before ... a mouse.
when i saw the iPhone touch screen (and the ads show you little else), i had the same reaction: "this is the future of the interface" ... and i knew i was right ...
because everything i know i learned on Star Trek.
so i bought one --
because i could,
because it was my birthday,
because i had an AT&T landline i could convert,
because i wanted to see what the competition was up to,
because i wanted to check out what my colleagues had been working on,
because it was hip and trendy (and i'm never hip and trendy),
and because i wanted to use it as the punchline to the opening joke of my conference presentations that fall [1].
later, i realized that the number on my dog's tag was the same as the iPhone, which means:
"i'm so wireless, my dog has an iPhone"
(worth it for that line alone)
but that was then, and this is now ... and here's my verdict: iPhone sux!
granted, i work for the competition, so you might consider my criticism suspect, but i will remind you -- this blog is my personal unedited outlet for talking about mobile audio issues. if i wasn't being completely open and honest with you, gentle reader, what would be the point of writing it? nobody's paying me for this stuff, ya know, this is a community service ...
so, what's the bug up my ass about the iPhone? first, the reponse of my co-workers, which was vehement (one guy saw me holding it and blurted out "traitor!", others "shunned" me for a week). it was funny because i know they love me, but the uproar was reminiscent of reactions i used to get when i'd flip open a sidekick. 5 years ago, i remember doing a little flippy ringtone trick for a guy outside a bar, and he nearly fell down (and he wasn't even that drunk).
well, 5 years is a technology sea change in the cell phone business, and these days, flipping open a sidekick is no big deal. in fact, it's maybe even trite (though maybe that's a good thing, a sign of success) ... but i don't hate the iPhone because it stole my mojo. here's why i do:
keyboard sux
i'm a piano player, so i'd like to think i know a little something about manual dexterity. i've been playing keyboards of one sort or another for, oh, - my entire life - and i know a good one when i feel one.
look at the steinway piano action: an unbelievably complex mechanical apparatus, designed (evolved) to provide a tactile interface for producing expressions of the human spirit.
that's deep, when you think about it, but can be said to varying degrees about any keyboard anywhere, including the one i'm typing on right now (macbook pro).
your brain uses the same mechanism for playing 88 black and whites as it does for touch typing - muscle memory. i can play that kick-ass, funky-fast, blues riff, because after a thousand repetitions, that neural pathway is seriously burned in. i just fire it off and my fingers remember what it feels like to move that way, in rapid succession, bam bam bam (big finish!)
typing is the same thing: i think the word, the fingers move, in sequence, to exactly the right places, by touch. that's true whether you're using all ten fingers ... or just your thumbs. the reason we are even having this conversation, is because the thumb keyboard on the sidekick feels so good, even paris hilton could use it. personally, after 6 years of practice, i can work it freakishly fast ...
note to mr. jobs: dear sir, i really like your products, but
TOUCH SCREEN TYPING IS NEVER EVER GOING TO WORK.
if there is no tactile response, there is no keyboard, end of story. typing on the iPhone is like trying to play piano keys painted on a tabletop -- can't be done, and i've stopped trying. [2]
phone audio sux
son of a bitch! why did i give up that landline!? you'd think an audio guy who works in the mobile industry would remember how bad cell phone audio sounds!!!it's not just the heart-rending things AMR compression does to voice recordings. it's not even the complete lack of background ambience, which prevents the illusion of shared space, like when you're connected by wire. i'm not even going to talk about the fidelity of rectangular speakers the size of a fingernail clipping.
no, what pisses me off about the iPhone is the echo suppression. all cell phone handsets rely on this process (mute output when input active for x milliseconds) to prevent looping audio feedback - which will happen on handsets 100% of the time, because the mic and speaker are right next to each other!
(try this sometime -- go onstage, take the vocalist's microphone and stick it right into the monitor speaker -- tell me how that sounds)
so the end result is this: i have a futuristic cell phone that acts like a 1950's SIMPLEX line, a one way radio, with an on/off comm channel toggle -- i can't hear you when i'm talking, and you can't interrupt me if i don't stop -- this was a real problem when i lived in greece, where loud, fast, constantly interrupted conversation is considered an art form (or sporting event).
there are things you can do -- speaking softly, with pauses, lets the other guy get a word in edgewise. fast release, quick fades and on-the-fly volume leveling in the audio processing algorithm can help as well. wired headsets do a decent job of separating mic and speaker, but bluetooth headsets have proximity issues same as handsets. it's basically an unsolvable problem, given physics and current technology, but the iPhone echo cancellation settings are so aggressive ... well, i wouldn't try using it athens. [3]
bottom line
SO i can't type on it, and i can't talk on it, what the hell's it good for?the only thing i like about the iPhone is that i "industry forecasted" it, and wireless iTunes, and ringtone pointers, fairly accurately, long before they came to market. but these days, i don't use it much, won't renew or upgrade it, and will eventually transfer the number to some other phone (hmm, i wonder what my friends and colleagues over at google are working on?)
besides, it's the dog's phone. how else will he communicate with me? :)
- pdx
[1] the opening joke:
There's this comedian, Al Franken. He used to write for Saturday Night Live in the 70's and one time I saw him do this sketch: "Hi, my name is Al Franken, and because I make a living doing comedy on television, anything I use during my act on television is, by definition, a business expense, and therefore is ... tax deductible. This suit, for instance, which I purchased specifically to wear on the show, is part of my act, and therefore is ... tax deductible. Here's a photograph of me and my wife and my kids on vacation in the Bahamas, and now, because I used it in my act, that vacation is ... tax deductible. Here's a picture of my new car. Here's my new house!"
Here's my new iPhone!
[2] solution to the keyboard problem:
Star Trek solves the problem quite elegantly - there is no keyboard.
there's no need when you have perfect voice recognition and transcription services built-in. i thought that was 24th century tech until i saw ray kurzweil demonstrate it, onstage, in real time, at his GDC 08 keynote address. impressive display, can mobile has now plz?
but even that's not what i really want. the piano player still wants something he can touch, something he can develop muscle memory for, something he can push on, with good action and a nice detent. something that could be as self-configuring as the screen itself, that could feel like 12-keys for numbers and thumb keys for letters and a d-pad for gaming and whatever else you wanted, depending on the app.
something like a pin sculpture, where the pinheads are pixels, and the contour is computer generated -- a smooth surface with glossy graphics that bumps up pushable buttons on request, provides variable magnetic resistance for detents, and goes back to flat, at will. the surface reconfigures itself automagically for sliding, dialing, typing, gaming, music production, whatever. label the buttons, dials, and switches with letters, symbols, animated glyphs, photos, video, anything you want.
so, crazy piano player, or materials science visionary? time will tell ...
[3]solution to the audio problem:
as cell phones get smaller, the separation between mic and speaker gets worse. this problem isn't going away, but the solution isn't in the hardware ... plus, turning off the speaker to prevent feedback seems like such a brute force approach.
what you really want to do is eliminate the sound that's feeding back, by suppressing the delayed input signal from the speaker output. but wait a minute there, mr postman, how the heck can the microphone tell which is the voice and which is the delay? it's a classic "signal vs noise" conundrum that brains deal with quite well, but electronics, not so much.
and yet -- i was just reading about the new Celemony DNA software that can (apparently, magically) pull individual notes out of pre-recorded material ... and i'm thinking: ya know, if you can do that for music, how hard could it be to do it for voice, particularly when you know what the original signal looks like! (hint: it's the one that starts first)
with that kind of technology, whenever yourr siggnal-l-l starrrted-ed-ed tooooo echo-ch-co, you could "pick out the note" (i.e. the delayed signal), and set its volume to zero, thereby suppressing the echo, and breaking the feedback loop.
that way, you only hear what they say, and they only hear what you say, continuously, like a duplex landline, like a real conversation. (hmm, i wonder how much CPU is required to do that kind of processing on the fly?)
anyway, brilliant idea, or utter nonsense? you decide!
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Well, for me it sux because it has no use at all... I just need a cell to receive and make calls, not a "portable entertainment center" that might make me look cooler so I could hang around with some shallow peers.
I hate the iPhone because it's just another piece of junk that this stupid technology industry want us to swallow.
the iphone sucks. you need to go euro and check out what they have. it will blow any mac phone ever made. just look at the new palm...
"keyboard sux"
I am not sure you can buy a full touchscreen device and then legitimately complain about its lack of a tactile keyboard. It's like buying a black car and then complaining that it's not red. The iphone is what it is and it sounds like many of your issues with it should have been apparent to you before you purchased it.
Guys you can send your suggestions to http://www.apple.com/feedback/iphone.html
My list of things that need improvement:
1. To have an option to type when phone is in horizontal position ( it is super uncomfortable typing on Iphone! And I don’t like your auto-suggestion mode!)
2. Record video with sound and with the mike recording option being able to set to “sensitive or soft” to “concert loud or club”
3. Have Entourage “Tasks” and “Notes” sync with Iphone (!!!!)
4. Have “No ring: option in ringtones or “record your own” (see below)
5. Record sound for memos or use it for ringtones – with automatic protection from loud sounds
6. being able to edit contact from “phone/search” position
7. Being able to increase font size or view size in “Notes”
8. Change backgroud color for “Notes”
9. copy and paste option
10. forwarding text messages
11. group text
12. battery life extended
13. Pictures attach option when texting (!!!)
14. A “free replace” of old Iphone 3G to a new phone with those above mentioned options ☺ (yay!)
I use my iPhone in the bathroom to kill some time. Its Great!!!
I too have had a sidekick (of some sort) for 6 years (wow). And I too am unimpressed by the iPhone's keyboard. The interface is beautiful, but doesn't allow multi-tasking like the danger OS does. The web browser is great, but doesn't offer the option to reflow text, and why do I have to wait for full-sized pictures to download when they could have a backend like danger does? Then the iPhone would be far faster. Don't even get me started on battery life! Admittedly, I don't have an iPhone of my own, I'm also a jealous girlfriend who has played with her boyfriend's on the few occasions when she was able to pry it out of his hands.
As an originally classically-trained saxophonist I totally know what you mean about 'good enough for jazz.' Ick.
i like my iphone
i usually surf web watch score when i dont have pc around or in working.
The web browser on the iPhone, EDGE or not, is far superior to the Danger browser. Even with the service, the Sidekick doesn't load the web any faster than the iPhone-and the iPhone gives you the real web and so much more. A side-by-side test blew my sidekick away, with a Google maps integration and more. There's just no comparison. Other points are very valid. Keep it up
gentle readers: please remember -- this blog is titled "why I hate the iPhone", not "why you should hate the iPhone". this is neither a review, nor a marketing piece; it is the personal opinion of a "road dog bluesman turned multimedia audio guy".
as a piano player, i need the tactile keyboard - as a sound designer, cell phone audio makes me crazy ... and the stated purpose of this blog is to get you thinking about mobile audio issues. if you agree with me, or disagree, perfect! that's what i call "mission accomplished" ...
and re: "but the sidekick sux too!" comments, what can i say? "don't shoot me, i'm just the piano player!" i make the thing produce annoying noises; i'm not in charge of web applications or long-term production strategies.
but i thank you very much for your comments, please keep 'em coming!
to address the comments so far:
@thunk: sorry, friendo, my iPhone will someday hold a place of honor in the "pdx museum of 'that which once was cool but now is obsolete'" ... i got a closet full.
@mr threw: "good enough" for mobile use reminds me of the old musician's tuning joke: "close enough for jazz". sure, you can play chopsticks and pick out melodies on a flat rollout keyboard, but nobody's playing beethoven piano sonatas on it. you wouldn't want to write the great american novel on any mobile keyboard; nonetheless, tactile responsiveness greatly increases speed and accuracy.
@mr battino: "cell phone dial tone"!! its non-existence has been the bane of my "telephone UI" experience for years ... and will be the subject of a future rant, i'm sure!
but "what people do with technology" is so exactly right. if all you do is talk on the phone and listen to music, iPhone may be just the ticket for you. but if you're chatting, emailing, surfing, or social networking ... i gotta have more cowbell!
@Matthew: Over the past ten years, I have been published many times, in print and online. Submitted articles always follow Chicago Manual of Style rules, and are edited and formatted by professionals. There is also contractual remuneration involved.
But in my blog, I am unedited for the first time ever. I thank David Battino and the O'Reilly publishing empire for the opportunity, and the courage to allow me free reign on content and style. In part to distinguish it from other published works, I choose to write here in a style that is idiosyncratic, sometimes silly, certainly annoying, and based on the works of Don Marquis, e.e. cummings, and the developing NewSpeak of mobile texting.
Thus, if I use the word "sux" in a blog, you may rest assured that I know how to spell "sucks" and that I'm doing it for effect. The nonconformist style also reflects my music composition credo: you have to know how to do it the right way, before choosing to do it the wrong way, on purpose.
Besides, have you never heard the phrase: "What I say three times is true?"
@mr bourne: ouch! so cynical ... and from the guy who does the Apple Phone Show podcast, too :)
@mr riley: thanks! but again, i'm just the piano player ...
@mr rice: you're right - all cell phones do echo suppression, sidekick included. but some phones do it better than others, and the iPhone settings seem to annoy me more than most. of course, one of the reasons i'm talking about it at all is the [3]"crazy notion, or brilliant solution" epiphany i had when checking out the Celemony DNA software ...
Unless I'm mistaken, no cellphone feeds the mic signal back to the speaker (the way landline phones do). So I don't think the iPhone's "echo suppression" can be aggressive.
I do experience the "simplex mode" problem you speak of on my non-iPhone cellphone. I'm out of my depth on this, but I get the impression that has more to do with signal quality than the phone.
Totally agree about the physical keyboard. People who haven't used hiptop devices for an extended period shouldn't knock how easy it is to do things. I can touch-type on the thing while walking along the street with essentially no errors. Sure I look like a dork when doing so, but there's just no way you can do that with a touch screen.
A more important difference is the iPhone platform is evolving quickly. The hiptop PIM apps (while wonderfully easy to use) are relatively feature-poor and basically haven't changed since 1.0, the email app (while exceptionally nice in supporting things like proper quotations and format=flowed) is still not IMAP, the Web proxies are still overloaded so they're slow as crap (Opera Mini on the same device wipes the floor with the builtin browser), there's no Mac sync software since Missing Sync disappeared, the music player is a sad joke, and so forth. Maybe this will change under Microsoft, but I think I'll have an iPhone and deal with the lack of keyboard instead.
Why you hate the iPhone? Because you thought you could generate some Google juice by taking a position that so clearly flies in the face of the general mobile phone - buying public. Oh yeah - and the fact that you work for the competition.
I immediately dismissed everything I read after the third "sux".
What is this, MySpace?
What terrible spelling and grammar from such a profession site.
Interesting. I’ve been intrigued by those ads for the Jitterbug phone — big buttons, big display, and no non-phone doodads to distract you. It even has a dial tone to confirm service.
Then I read this week that the company founder was cell phone inventor Martin Cooper, whom I’ve long admired for his quote, “Everyone is talking about technology, when what’s important is what people do with technology.”
I've has the iPhone since June. My wife has a Nokia e61. I have never had any difficulty using the iPhone's keyboard. In fact, with the exception of a few software hiccups, the phone has been a joy to use. Recently I had to send a few texts from my wife's phone, which she inherited from me when it was the cutting edge. Now? It's an embarrassment. I'm just an ordinary punter and the iPhone has been the best handset I've yet used, and I've used mobiles from all the manufacturers. The keyboard is a non-issue. The software makes the difference - as ever with Apple.
It's funny, you are right about everything in your post.
But, based almost on its interface and design alone, the iPhone still kicks the sidekick into the ground. Plus the iPhone has an aesthetic...while the sidekick looks like, well, a cheap plastic commodity mobile phone.
However right you are, I absolutely enjoy the iPhone despite the truth of all of these issues. FWIW, none of them bother me terribly much (i.e. its "good enough"...I am pretty good at touch typing on the iPhone at this point, and the lack of haptics don't bother me for this use...now if I could get z-pressure for musical control...), but I will happily buy iPhone v2 when it comes out, and I'm sure it will address at least some of these shortcomings.
I encourage you to keep trying to make my iPhone better.
Godspeed.
Hey if you hate it so much, send it me, I'll make sure you never see it again!
Seriously, do you expect a 1.0 product to be perfect? I seem to recall that some company you might work for isn't exactly known for getting everything even close to right until 3.0 or so.