A Father's Worth

Tiger Woods won his second US Open today, no doubt making his father, Earl Woods, very proud and happy. Earl certainly seems to have raised an admirable son. Maybe all of us could raise world-class athletes if we had the time, or maybe Tiger Woods is unique. I'd like to tell you about another father and son I know who are no less remarkable than Earl and Tiger Woods.



Bob Witanek has an 8-year-old son named Robert. Robert plays piano better than any other 8-year-old I've ever known. He also composes his own music and the other day he transcribed a piano piece to violin for my daughters who play violin (although not nearly as prodigiously as Robert plays piano). Last month, for his grandfather's birthday, when asked to play "Happy Birthday," Robert asked "in what key?" and proceeded to play at least 4 different renditions. I wouldn't put it past him to have arranged them on the spot. He plays lengthy Beethoven sonatas from memory. He also dabbles in violin.



But I didn't set out to write about Robert today, because it is Father's Day, so I want to talk about his father Bob. Bob appears quite ordinary, and yet Robert is evidence that Bob is in fact extraordinary. Unlike Earl Woods who, as I understand it, decided it would be cool to help his son become the world's greatest golfer, Bob had no such plans for Robert. Instead, Robert spontaneously started playing piano at age 4 and hasn't wanted to stop since. Bob has nurtured Robert's love for music despite the challenges. Bob could tell you the exact diagnosis better than I, but Robert is, to my untrained eye, an autistic savant.



Bob doesn't push Robert to perform. Instead, music is Robert's love and favorite outlet. To nurture this love, Bob has tirelessly worked to organize monthly recitals at which his son and other children could share their love of music. He has tried to arrange play-ins with other children to give Robert more social interaction through music. He has successfully lobbied the local school board to admit third-graders into the music program (instead of waiting until the fourth grade). Bob has done this for all the children in the district, not just his son Robert.



Through no fault of his own, however, Bob had a bad day yesterday. Some attendees at the latest recital criticized his son for playing too long and too well (too advanced a piece). These insensitive clots were concerned that their mainstream children might have their delicate egos bruised rather than enriched because Robert plays so well. They also complained that a man with an autistic child sometimes runs three minutes late; they wanted to leave after their children played without giving the other child performers appropriate courtesy. They were too busy to listen to the beautiful music played by the son of the man who has single-handedly organized the monthly recitals for nearly two years. Maybe Bob should criticize them every time their children do something that Robert cannot, like make consistent eye contact or attend a public school without a full-time assistant. But I suspect they will never udnerstand the kind of love that Bob has for Robert, the love that fathers like Bob give daily to children that face the kinds of challenges Robert does.



I ask you to visit Bob's Parent's of Young Musicians site. I ask you to send him an email at bwitanek@igc.org and tell him what a wonderful father he is. And if you live in the Princeton, NJ area, or want to visit, I ask you to come by one of our monthly recitals and see the joy on his son Robert's face when he plays the music that means so much to him.

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